Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Sorry my hands just texted you
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
