Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
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You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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