You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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