We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Randomize
