My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
