I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties