He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.