the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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