I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
