oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
tonight lets celebrate not being married
her facebook's as public as her vagina
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
