I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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