The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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