Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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