Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
