If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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