Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
