dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
