I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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