We won't sleep together?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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