dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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