Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
