I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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