We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
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