hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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