he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
