You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
