I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
