Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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