Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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