i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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