Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
