i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
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At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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