You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
