weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
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