atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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