Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
