I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
