The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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