It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
