after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
