Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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