I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
