remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
