In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
