we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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