Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Im just a social blackout drinker.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
