a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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