Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
