The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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