He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize