He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
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so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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