If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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