he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
