just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
