Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
