i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
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