Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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