I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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