I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
