too bad you live with your parents still
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
