goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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