She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?