What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.