I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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