we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
